Shattered Soul
by xXChiasaHimuraXx
Summary: Yusei has always been the quiet, almost shy one of the gang. Jack is the one to explain why this is since only he, Martha, and Dr. Schmidt know the truth. Some reasons were never meant to be understood... and this is one of them. Rated M for violence and dark themes.
1. Chapter 1 A Hidden Past

Author's Notes: Hopefully this one goes over better than the second story I posted. Here's the low-down: No reviews means no new chapters. I love to write, and I won't stop just 'cause I don't get reviews, but it _is_ nice to know that people are reading my stuff. Flame if you want, but I should warn you: depending on what is in the flame, it might result it my blocking you. However, constructive criticism is a different story; I_ do_ encourage that^_^

Anyway, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's, and no copyright infringement is intended.

Enjoy^_^

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><p><strong>Chapter One - A Hidden Past<strong>

"I'm fine, Akiza, really," Yusei stated as he headed for the steps. "I just have a little headache; that's all." Before another word could be spoken, the raven-haired male was up the steps and out of sight.

"He's hiding something; I can feel it," Akiza mumbled as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Having a headache right this instant is just a little too convenient."

"Crow," Luna started from where she sat at the table, working on an end-of-the-year school project with her brother, "Why is it that Yusei is so good at hiding his emotions? I mean, it's not natural for anyone to hide them as well as he does..."

"Well, uhm... uh..." The young signer's question had caught Crow quite by surprise - and he wasn't used to not knowing the answer. "It's... uh... because... uhm..." He sighed. "I really have no idea, Luna."

"No, but I do." Everyone turned in surprise to look at the blond-haired man across the room.

"Whadaya mean, Jack?" Crow asked, completely confused. How could Jack know something about Yusei that he himself didn't? They had all known each other for years. Unless...

As if reading the orange-haired teen's mind, Jack responded, "So much happened before we met you, Crow; this would be on of those things."

"Well, what happened?" Luna prompted.

"I'm not sure I should say," the blonde responded. "It's one of those things where if Yusei wanted you to know, he'd have told you by now. I'm not sure it's my place to tell this story."

"Ah, c'mon, Jack," Akiza pleaded. "There's a reason for this and I want to know what it is."

Jack scoffed. "No; like I said, it's not my place to tell it."

"Can't ya at least give us a hint?" Crow asked.

"Well, I suppose I could tell you what he told me some time later, but I'm afraid it wouldn't make an ounce of sense unless I told you the whole story."

"I'll take it," Crow stated. "'Cause now I'm _really _curious."

"Alright, then," Jack stated. "Yusei once told me that he learned to hide his emotions because when he showed emotion, it made everything worse for him."

"That's our big hint?" the bird duelist questioned flatly.

"I told you it wouldn't make much sense."

"Then tell us the rest of the story! Please?" Leo begged.

Jack let out an impatient sigh. "_Must_ I reiterate for the third time that it's simply _not _my story to tell?"

"It's alright, Jack," a baritone voice spoke from the top of the steps. Everyone turned in surprise; no one had known Yusei was listening. "I know which story it is they wish to hear; you have my permission to tell it. Though I won't stay, and I hate to tell of it myself, I don't mind." Without another word, Yusei turned and softly returned to his room.

"Well," Jack murmured, "I guess that settles it. But I feel I should warn you: It's not a pretty picture. There's a lot none of you know about his past, and about as much that I almost wish I didn't know.

"This is the story of how I met Yusei..."

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><p><em>"Some secrets are meant to be kept<em>  
><em>Some stories should never be told<em>  
><em>Some reasons shouldn't be understood<em>  
><em>They just might turn your blood cold"<em>  
>~Hilary Duff: Dangerous to Know<p>

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><p>Author's Notes: This is probably the shortest thing I've ever written...<p>

Anyway... More coming soon if you people review^_^


	2. Chapter 2 The Boy

Author's Notes: As requested by my lovely reviewers, here is chapter two^_^ (Here's a cookie for you... and one for you... and one for you...)

Now we really start to see what happened... Be forewarned: It starts to get a little violent (though not much...).

Enjoy^_^

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><p><strong>Chapter Two - The Boy<strong>

'Ha!' eight-year old Jack thought as he skipped down the street. 'Did Martha really think she could keep me locked up in my room on a day like this?' He had - once again - gotten in trouble with his caretaker and been sent to his room on this first warm spring day of the year. Jack had simply jumped out his window and climbed down the tree outside it, like he always did. He had never once been caught, either, for all the times he had done this.

Could this day get any better? The day was warm, the sun was shining, and he was free to roam the streets of Satellite! As he passed by the open door of a decrepit house, however, he heard a small, muffled sound from within, causing him to stop and listen. He looked in through the doorway but saw not a soul.

But there was that sound again; someone or something had to be in there! The blond boy continued to listen. It sounded like... like... someone was crying maybe?

"Hello?" Jack called out with a slightly Australian-accented voice. "Is someone there?" The sound instantly ceased. "Hello?" Ignoring what his foster mother had always said about going onto someone else's property, he stepped into the room, hoping to find the source of the sound. Was it... coming from that closet? He turned the handle only to discover that the door was locked. But this was definitely the source of the sound; Jack could hear someone moving about inside. But why on earth was it locked? Oh well; it wouldn't be for long! The boy pulled out his pocket knife and started to jimmy the lock. In less than a minute, he heard it click open.

What he found there shattered his pleasant afternoon.

In the back of the closet sat a boy who couldn't have been any older than Jack himself. The boy stared up at Jack with scared sapphire-blue eyes and tried to push himself further back into the closet, even though he was already pressed up against the wall.

"Please go away!" the boy whispered urgently. "Please!"

"But what are you doing locked in there?" Jack asked, perplexed.

"Just go! Please!" the raven-haired boy begged.

Jack put his hands on his hips. "Not 'til you answer my question!"

The boy in the closet looked like he was about to burst into tears. "Please just go!" he pleaded. "She'll beat me worse if she comes back and finds you here!"

Jack's violet eyes grew wide as he realized for the first time how bruised and battered this boy before him was. His bare arms were black and blue and green, and there was a scratch across his right cheek, running from the bridge of his nose clear to his ear.

"I'll go," Jack slowly conceded, "but I'm coming back, I promise." With that, Jack closed the door again, making sure it locked before leaving the small house.

Hiding behind a dumpster in an alley across the street, Jack didn't have to wait long for the woman, whom the boy had referred to, to return. She wasn't a terribly large woman, but she did carry a superior air about her. As she entered the house, it didn't take long to discover why the boy was so afraid of her. She unlocked the door, ordering the boy out of the closet with the angry pointing of a finger. Jack gasped as the boy stumbled out; his bruises looked ten times worse in the light than the dark of the closet.

And then she smacked him. Hard. The force of the impact sent his small, bony frame into the nearest wall. She said something too low for Jack to hear; the raven-haired boy nodded vigorously and stumbled quickly from the room.

Jack sprinted out of his hiding place back in the direction of the orphanage. He had seen more than he cared to. At that moment he didn't care how much trouble he would be in for sneaking out; he only wanted to get Martha and Dr. Schmidt to help. And somehow he would get them to help.

Because Jack Atlas doesn't break a promise.

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><p>As he neared his home, he could hear the other kids outside and knew Martha wouldn't be far away. He burst out of the trees he had been running through and into the clearing in front of the house. "Martha, Martha!" he called. "You've gotta help!"<p>

Martha came down from the front porch, a slightly perturbed expression on her face, followed closely by Dr. Schmidt. But before she could say even one word, Jack sputtered out what had he had just witnessed. He ended his tale with, "You've just gotta help him, and bring him back here!"

As he stood, breathless, in front of her, Martha shook her head, hands on hips. It was not that she didn't believe him; rather, she was all too familiar with stories like the one Jack had just told her. Many of the children she now took care of had come from situations were a guardian had beaten the child. "I wish I could do something, child," she finally sighed, "but I'm afraid there's not much I can do."

The little blond boy stared up at her with amazement in his violet eyes. She was his foster mother; she was supposed to be able to fix anything! "B-but why not?"

Martha bent down to the boy's level. "I wish I could, but it's just not that simple, I'm afraid. I'd have to have permission from his guardian to bring him here, and I've been denied before."

"B-but y-you've just g-gotta try!" the blonde stuttered. "You're always telling us you never know what could happen until you try!"

She sighed. "Yes, I suppose I have said that before. Well, it couldn't hurt to go by there, I guess. Dr. Schmidt can look after the others," - the doctor nodded once - "so lead the way." Jack took hold of his caretaker's hand and pulled her in the direction he had come from only a moment before. "But don't think for even one second that you're off the hook for sneaking out, young man."

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><p>Boy and caretaker were both soon standing in the mouth of an alleyway a number of streets away from their home. "It's that one there," Jack stated, pointing to an open doorway. Through the opening, the two could see a middle-aged woman slaving over a sink full dirty dishes; no one else was in sight.<p>

"Are you sure this is the right place?" Martha asked skeptically.

"Uh-huh," Jack nodded. "I recognize that lady!"

A few moments past. Then a young boy with spiky, raven hair shuffled into the room carrying a plate and glass. Martha's hand flew to her mouth stifling a gasp, dark eyes growing wide; Jack's description of the boy had been extremely under-exaggerated. In all the cases she'd ever seen of a child being beaten, this one had to be the worst - and that was really saying something. As they watched, a horrible thing happened.

The boy dropped what he was carrying, the plate and glass shattering on the concrete floor.

The woman whirled around, a furious look on her face. "YOU CLUMSY, WORTHLESS BOY!" she shouted at the top of her lungs, as she moved towards him. "I don't know why I bother keeping you around! All I ask for is a little help from you now and then, and what do you do? Make an even _bigger_ mess for _me_ to clean up!"

"I'm sorry!" he squeaked, backing up until he ran into the wall. "I'm sorry! Please don't hi - "

The boy's words were cut-off as the woman's hand connected with the side of this face, and he cried out in agony as he stumbled to the side.

"YOU STUPID, STUPID BOY!" she continued to yell as she grabbed his arms and slammed him into the wall. She grabbed his face with one hand, forcing him to look at the mess on the floor. "You see this mess, boy? Now I've got to do the dishes _and _clean up _your_ mess!" Taking hold of his arm again, she swung him around and flung him face-first to the floor - _on top of the broken glass_. The boy didn't even try to get up; he simply lay there, letting the glass shards bite into his arms and face, drops of crimson slowly forming where the sharp pieces found bare skin.

Martha had seen enough. "Stay here, Jack," she commanded. Marching across the street, she went straight up to the doorway. She hadn't any idea of what she was going to do, but she wasn't about to let this woman continue to beat this boy. The woman was about to pick the boy up off the floor when Martha knocked on the door frame. "Excuse me, but I don't believe that's how a child should be treated."

"Well, that's really none of your business, now is it?" the woman retorted smartly.

Martha bristled. "I make _every _child 'my business,' as you so-put it!"

"You want this trouble-some, worthless imp?" the woman asked matter-of-factly, as she pulled him to his feet. "Then TAKE him! Please, it'd be doing me a favor!" She pushed him forward, causing him to stumble into the wall next to the door.

Martha knelt down next to the frightened child. Smiling warmly, she held her hand out to him. "Come with me, child," she spoke gently. He hesitated. "It's alright; I just want to help you." The boy still looked unsure - until he glanced out the door and saw Jack approaching them.

"I promised I'd come back," Jack stated as he stopped beside Martha. "And Jack Atlas doesn't break his promises! This is my foster mother, Martha." The boy started to relax, looking a little less frightened then before, though not by much.

"Do you have a name, child?" Martha asked, still smiling down at the raven-haired boy.

Before the boy had a chance to answer, however, the woman cursed at them all: "If you're gonna rid me of that imp, then DO IT already, and get out of my house!"

Without another word, Martha obliged her. Scooping up the boy into her arms, she didn't care if the blood from his cuts stained her clothes; she simply wanted to get him away from there. She started back down the street, holding him close. They walked quickly for a few blocks before slowing down to a more comfortable pace. Martha finally decided to ask the boy his name again at this point but found that the pour thing had fallen asleep against her shoulder.

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><p><em>"I'm looking down into the eyes of hopelessness<em>  
><em>They're crying out to me<em>  
><em>I see the pain it's so much more than youth should know<em>  
><em>It tears me apart<em>  
><em>What can I do to change what I see<em>  
><em>This vicious cycle must come to an end"<em>  
>~Kutless: Heart of the Innocent<p>

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><p>Author's Notes: The end.<p>

Hahaha just kidding^_^ This story has only just begun!

Stay tuned and don't forget to review, por favor^_^


	3. Chapter 3 Broken

Author's Notes: Sorry it took so long to update; thank you for being patient! All of my reviewers are amazing; thank you all for your comments^_^ (cookies anyone?)

Anyway, enjoy^_^

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><p><strong>Chapter Three - Broken<strong>

"So what happened after that?" Luna asked quietly. Jack's story had stunned them all to silence for a few moments until the young girl had dared to break it. "Surely there's more to the story than that..."

Jack nodded once. "But I'm afraid it doesn't really get much better." The others watched him intently, silently willing the blonde to go on. After a moment, he continued.

"As soon as we had returned, I was sentenced back to my room, while Martha carried him in to Dr. Schmidt's office. He had fallen asleep again by the time Dr. Schmidt had brought him up and laid him on the other bed in my room. His arms had been bandaged from where the glass had cut into them, and there were many more minuscule cuts on his face as well..."

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><p>As Little Jack watched his guest sleep, he wondered about the other boy. What was his name? What had happened for him to have ended up with that vile woman? Why hadn't he just run away from her?<p>

The boy stirred, drawing jack from his thoughts. He watched from his own bed as the boy slowly, painfully, sat up and looked around, an expression of confusion and pain on his face. Sapphire-blue eyes that should have been so bright and held such life were dull. Empty. Dead.

Jack stood from where he'd been sitting on his own bed, the motion drawing the attention of the raven-haired boy. Those dead, blue eyes locked onto Jack's own violet ones. Even though the boy was perfectly safe here, the blonde could still sense fear and distrust in him. Jack quickly closed the distance between them and sat on the edge of the other bed; the boy shrunk away from him, towards the wall.

Jack decided that he'd better break the ice with this new-comer; a simple enough question should do the trick! "So, what's your name, anyway?" The only answer the blond boy received was the terrified look in the boy's eyes and the blank expression of the rest of his face. A short, awkward silence ensued before Jack heard someone's stomach growl - and it wasn't his. Dinner had been an hour ago, and he'd eaten with everyone else while the new boy slept. "Are you hungry?" he tried asking.

This time the boy responded, though only with a slow nod of his head.

"Well, why didn't you say so?" Jack asked cheerfully. "C'mon! I'm sure there's still soup left from dinner. But even if there's not, Martha can whip something up in a jiffy!" He stood up and was pleasantly surprised when the other boy slowly followed suit; Jack hadn't been sure the boy would trust him.

There was something strange about this boy, Jack observed. He was as skinny as a fence post, that was for sure, but that wasn't what caught Jack's attention now. As the pair proceeded down the hall, he couldn't help but notice the way this boy _walked_. His head was bowed and shoulders were stooped as if they held the weight of the world; more than once he stumbled over his feet as he shuffled down the corridor. To Jack he seemed more like a seventy-year old man than a seven-year old boy.

In that moment Jack realized an important truth: This nameless boy had truly been _broken_. Maybe even to the point of no return.

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><p>Jack glanced at the clock on his night table: 9:32pm it said in glowing red numbers. He slid out of bed and, as quietly as he could so he wouldn't wake his new room mate, opened the door. Chances were good that Martha was still awake, so maybe she would tell him a story to help him fall asleep. He crept silently down the stairs and, as he neared Dr. Schmidt's office, heard the voices of his caretaker and the doctor speaking in low tones. The door had been left open a crack; Jack didn't like to interrupt, so he crouched by the door to hear what they were talking about.<p>

"So what's the verdict?" Martha was saying. "How bad is he?"

"In terms of what happened today," the doctor asked, "or what's been happening for years?"

"Well, let's just start with today, I suppose."

"Apart from the bruises, I had to remove a significant amount of glass from his arms. Some of the shards were so small I hard a time even seeing them. He'll be sore for quite some time, but thank Yami it wasn't worse." Dr. Schmidt sighed. "But then we get the rest of the story. From what I understand, he's been beaten since he was about four years old; he told me he's about seven now. Considering what you've already told me and how long this has been going on, I wouldn't be surprised if there was some kind of brain damage; if he hadn't spoken to Jack, in addition to at least telling me how old he is and how long this has been going on, I'd say he couldn't speak at all. I'm not sure if he just doesn't _want _to tell us what his name is or if he _can't _because he doesn't even know what it is, but either way I couldn't get him to tell me anything else.

"He's extremely malnourished, as well. My guess on that is that she never actually fed him anything decent so he only ever ate what he could steal while his guardian wasn't around."

"Mm. I did have that part figured out. The way he inhaled that soup... I had to tell him to slow down half a dozen times so he wouldn't make himself sick," Martha commented.

The doctor continued. "It gets worse, I'm afraid. In my examination of him, I found a few bones that didn't quite line up right. It would appear they had been broken and then left unattended to heal."

Martha gasped. "How could anyone ever see fit to beat an innocent child so severely?"

"I don't know, Martha," he replied, "but obviously that woman did. She beat him so forcefully she broke a rib on one occasion, his clavicle bone on another."

Jack heard someone - most likely Martha - plop down into a chair. He himself couldn't believe what he was hearing. 'And I thought I had it bad sometimes,' he thought guiltily.

Martha continued. "No wonder he doesn't talk."

"Mmm," Dr. Schmidt agreed. "I'm sure he's afraid of us after everything he's been through. It's not going to be easy, showing him that not all people are like his previous guardian. I'm sure the back of that woman's hand is about all he's ever known."

All was silent for a moment before the conversation turned to other matters. Jack decided it would have to be now of never if he was going to go in there. 'Maybe I shouldn't,' he thought just as he accidentally leaned on the door. It slid open a little further, catching the attention of the adults inside.

"Jack?" Martha asked, surprised. "What in the world are you doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep," he answered truthfully, walking into the room. "I was hoping you'd tell me a story but..." he paused, chewing momentarily on his bottom lip. "He really needs a friend doesn't he?"

Martha's expression softened as she pulled the boy into her lap. "Yes, young one, he does."

"Do you think he'd let _me _be his friend?"

"Maybe," she smiled, "with time. He hasn't had a very good childhood, and I think it will take quite some time before he trusts any of us. You'll have to be very patient with him, Jack."

"I'll do whatever it takes!"

"I have no doubt that you will!"

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><p>"<em>Slowly fading away<em>_  
><em>_You're lost and so afraid__  
><em>_Where is the hope in a world so cold?__  
><em>_Looking for a distant light__  
><em>_Someone who could save a life__  
><em>_You're living in fear that no one will hear your cries__  
><em>_Can you save me now?_

_"I am with you__  
><em>_I will carry you through it all__  
><em>_I won't leave you, I will catch you__  
><em>_When you feel like letting go__  
><em>_Cause your not, your not alone_"  
>~RED: Not Alone<p>

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><p>Author's Notes: ...Well, for once I have nothing to say except reviews, as always, are lovely^_^<p> 


	4. Chapter 4  End of Silence

Author's Notes: So sorry for the long wait! School's almost over for the year so it should definitely NOT take this long to update again! Anyway, I'm gonna make this brief 'cause my laptop battery's gonna die soon and I'm trying to beat it! So if there are any typing errors, I am very sorry 'cause I'm not gonna thoroughly proof read it this time.

As always, thank you to all who review, and I will love you forever if you continue to so^_^

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><p><strong>Chapter Four - End of Silence<strong>

"I knew it wouldn't be easy to make friends with Yusei," Jack spoke quietly. "He hadn't said a single word since we'd been back at Martha's; we still had, at that point, to even learn a name. But I knew I couldn't give up."

Everyone was stunned; none of them had had any idea of the past Yusei had lived through. The situation made him even more of a hero in the group's eyes. Leo and Luna had always known that their mentor was strong of mind and never let anything phase him; but, unfortunately, now they knew the horrible truth behind this inner strength. He had lived through so much hardship, yet had turned everything around and had used his experiences to do nothing but help others.

"Jack," Crow finally ventured in a slightly strained voice. "What was life like before you found him?"

The blonde shook his head. "Can't tell you that, mate, 'cause he never told me. And I never asked, knowing it was hard on him."

"I can't even begin to imagine," Akiza whispered in horror.

"No," came a soft baritone voice from the top of the steps. "None of you can." He descended the steps to where his friends sat at the kitchen table, watching him with sorrowful gazes. "And I'm glad for it. I would _never _wish my past on anyone - not for them to live, not even for them to know. No one should ever have to live through what happened to me." He turned away from them, raven bangs concealing his eyes in shadow. His hands clenched into fists at his sides; he swallowed hard as he fought with himself for a moment. He refused to let his friends see him so rattled. More, it was instinct to not let them see. "No one should ever know the depth of physical and mental pain I have endured," he whispered bitterly into the silence.

Before he quite realized what he was saying, Yusei began to reveal everything he had wished to keep hidden.

"I was so skinny - so _underweight _- by the time Jack found me. That woman almost never let me eat. When she did, I was glad for it, though many times the food was so spoiled it made me sick. When she would leave me alone, I'd eat whatever I could get my hands on that she wouldn't notice was missing. But eventually she caught on and started locking me in the closet when she left. The few times she didn't lock me up after that, she'd return and force me to throw up in one way or another to make sure I hadn't eaten anything while she was away. It came to the point that I was glad when she'd lock me up. She told me countless times that I wasn't worth enough for her to waste money on food for me to eat.

"By the time Jack found me, I hadn't eaten in nearly three days." Akiza and Luna both let out a gasp of horror; Crow's eyes doubled in size, and even Jack couldn't hide his surprised horror. But Yusei's words continued to tumble out of his mouth.

"Yet in the middle of this, I did have an escape, if only for a brief time. It was a miracle in itself that she allowed it, but the leader of a duel gang came by once in a while and started to teach me how to read and write. Luke never gave up on me, even though I had a hard time learning. When he introduced me to the game of Duel Monsters, something clicked, and it got easier. So he started to teach me how to duel, as well as how to read and write. As I got better, he'd bring by other members of his gang for me to practice dueling against. They were my first real friends, and though I never defeated any of them, they were also my first glance at people who weren't like my guardian.

"But it wasn't meant to last. A few months after I'd met him, Luke was killed by a rival duel gang. As soon as she'd found out, my guardian banned them all from ever seeing me again, saying she didn't want their influence on me any longer." He paused momentarily, giving a wry smile. "An ironic statement for her to give, considering they were the ones who had shown nothing but kindness towards me while she had beaten me nearly ever single day." His voice began to shake half way through his statement; until now he'd been able to keep his voice steady and even, but now there was no hiding his emotions. What he was feeling - all these years of pent-up emotions - were beginning to overwhelm him, yet he couldn't stop.

"She beat me almost every day, though not always mercilessly. When the abuse started, it was more discipline for when I did something wrong or forgot to do something. As time went on, however, if she didn't have a reason to hit me, she'd make one up. She'd tell me I forgot to do something, though she never told me to do it in the first place. After a few months, she stopped trying to make up excuses altogether. Most of my earliest memories? The back of her hand connecting with the side of my face while she screamed at me that I was worthless.

"I remember one time I dropped something in the kitchen; it hadn't broken, but it did make a mess, regardless. So she came at me - _with a kitchen knife in her hand. _She may well have killed me that day if it hadn't happened before Luke was killed; he showed up just in time to stop her. He would have taken me away from there that day if she hadn't threatened to call Security on him. Being a duelist, he had already been in enough trouble with them; he told me that they'd lock him up for life if he got arrested again, so I'd just end up right back where I started anyway.

"After he was killed, there was no one to stand in her way. I tried to run away once, but she caught me. After what she did to me for it, I would never dare to try anything like that ever again. She beat me more severely that day then she ever had before.

"That was also the first time she broke one of my bones."

He paused, breathing hard as the pain of the memory throbbed in his once-broken rib. His voice shook harder than it had been before as he continued in a low voice, his friends watching him, their looks of horror deepening with every word he spoke.

"She picked up a broom and started to beat me with it. I raised my arms to protect my head, and that's when it happened. Before I knew what had hit me, I couldn't breathe. My brain took a moment to register what had happened, but when it did... I can't even begin to describe the pain that followed."

He paused again, breathing hard and shaking slightly, his emotions beginning to get the upper hand of him. Why was he telling them all of this? He had promised himself no one would ever know the horrors he had faced as a child, yet here he was, letting all lose to his closest friends. But he couldn't stop himself from pouring out his heart and soul now that he'd started. The words came naturally as his breaths came hard and fast, and his voice shook.

"For a while she stopped beating me, almost like she was sorry for breaking my rib. But obviously it didn't last.

"I don't even remember what I did that day to make her so angry with me, but it must have been bad - though knowing her, I possibly hadn't done anything wrong at all. She started throwing anything she could get her hands on at me. Plates, forks, glasses; they all came my way. Some of them missed me, but more often than not, they didn't. I remember lying on the floor, crying from the pain, as she approached me, telling me to stop making so much noise. But I couldn't; I was in so much pain. She kicked me in the ribs, telling me again to stop. Her kick just made me cry harder as it connected with the rib she'd broken that was still healing. I cried harder, pleading with her to stop hurting me, but the more I pleaded, the angrier she became. She kicked me a few more times before finally pulling me to my feet and slamming me into the wall. When I shrunk back down and continued to cry, she pulled me up again. But instead of being hurled into the wall, she threw me into the table. I was just tall enough that, even though I was slightly stooped over, I was still tall enough to collide with the edge of the tabletop. I heard the impact of my shoulder against the wood; I heard the crack as my collar bone snapped.

"By that point, I had a pretty high tolerance for pain, but that didn't stop me from collapsing onto the floor. My left arm was completely useless since it hurt so much to move it, so I could hardly defend myself when she continued to come at me. Cowering back in a corner, I forced myself to stop crying. After that, she let me be for the rest of the day.

"But things never happen the same way twice. The very next day, she beat on me again. Remembering the day before, I stayed as quiet as I possibly could. The beating didn't last as long. That's when I learned that if I could keep any emotion from showing, I'd be better off for it. If I didn't react to anything she did or said, then she'd stop sooner. I started hiding any and all emotion, and I found that theory to hold true, so I continued to hide everything I felt inside.

"But it never stopped entirely. She continued to beat on me day after day after day." He paused trying to catch his breath, trying to force his breathing back to normal, though he knew the act was futile. He closed his sapphire eyes as he continued, the pain he felt evident in his voice.

"It sounds strange but I'd much rather have endured a hundred times more physical beatings then all the verbal abuse I took from that woman the seven years I lived with her. Bruises and broken bones heal; scars from words live forever.

"Not a day went by that she wouldn't tell me how worthless I was. And I believed her.

"If I did something incorrectly, she'd call me a failure; if I did something incorrectly more than once then she'd say I was a lost cause. She told me that I was hopeless to be able to learn to do anything worth-while. With every word she said, she convinced me that I'd never be anything more than a failure."

"Yusei," Akiza interrupted softly, "you know that's not true, don't you?"

He nodded. "I do now, but it wasn't always so. It took me a long time to come to that realization; I may never have if it hadn't been for people like Martha, Jack, and Crow. They gave me a reason to not give up on life. But it doesn't mean those scars have completely disappeared; I will never be able to forget the past - or those words."

The room fell silent. Then two chairs scraped against the floor as their occupants rose, and Yusei felt two pairs of arms wrap around his waist. He opened his eyes in surprise to find Leo and Luna clinging to either side of him. He bent down to the twins' level, pulling them in close.

He heaved a shuttering sigh; it had been a long time coming to this point. He had been silent on this matter for so long - for _too _long - but now this was the end. Finally he had been able to speak allowed the events that had been haunting him for most of his life.

His friends. He had his friends with him now. Knowing this, he would never be subject to the fate of failure again.

Slowly standing, he kept his stormy eyes hidden from the world. He just wanted to alone now, to collect his thoughts.

As he turned to leave, Crow called out quietly in concern: "Yusei, you gonna be okay?"

"Yeah," he answered softly. "I'll be fine." He brought up his troubled eyes to meet his friend's grey ones. Crow knew his friend was being honest; if Yusei had been lying, Crow knew, he would have avoided eye contact. Convinced, the orange-haired man nodded once, and Yusei disappeared back up to his room once again.

The silence swallowed them all as their friend's words continued to sink in. If he hadn't told them, they never could have guessed all the horrors he had been through. The first seven years of his life was more than one person should have to go through in a lifetime.

"Now, then," Jack spoke quietly into the palpable silence. Leo and Luna, who had both still been standing, took their seats again at the table. "Where was I? ...Ah, yes; I was trying to befriend a boy of whom I still didn't even know the name of..."

* * *

><p><em>"They called you a failure<em>_  
><em>_They called you a lost cause__  
><em>_They said you would never become anything at all..._

_"I know you've been broken__  
><em>_'cause I've seen the abuse__  
><em>_I know there's a place inside your heart begging for truth..._

_"And I believe in you; yes, I believe in you, and I know you'll find the truth"_  
>~The Truth by ZOEgirl<p>

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><p>Author's Notes: Again, I'm trying to get this up before my battery dies, so sorry for any typos I missed.<p>

As always, I love reading what you guys think of my story, so please review! ^_^


	5. Chapter 5 Finally Home?

Author's Notes: Yay new chapter! Sorry it took so long for me to update; I was going to yesterday but didn't have time before the battery died on my mom's laptop (it's the only computer I have access to and she lost the power cord... Luckily she has a new one now!)

Anyway, thanks to the readers who have reviewed! ^_^ And to all of you: Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Five - Finally Home?<strong>

A week had past since Jack had discovered the nameless boy. The children had long ago given up trying to get to know the boy - all of them except Jack, of course. The two shared a room, but the blonde had yet to get even one word out of the younger boy. His not talking sure made it difficult for Jack to befriend him.

Once again, it was a warm spring day, and everyone was outside, enjoying the fresh air. A game of soccer was starting among all the children - but not the raven-haired boy. He sat by himself off to the side so as not to be in the way of the game, his back turned towards the group.

After teams had been chosen, Jack began to feel guilty. Here he was, having fun while that boy was all on his own. Maybe he didn't want company, but leaving him out felt wrong to Jack.

"Hey!" one of the other kids stated, interrupting Jack's thoughts. "The teams are uneven if everyone plays..."

Jack got an idea then; he knew no one else would want to sit out, anyway. "I'll just not play, then," he offered with a shrug.

"But you're the best player!" one of his teammates argued, hands on hips.

"So?" No one had an answer for that. "It's only fair this way!" He left the field and sat down on the porch steps; he didn't stay there long though. As soon as the game had started, he stood back up and went quietly over to the nameless boy's side. Looking over the raven-haired boy's shoulder, the blonde had another idea - one that would finally break the ice, he hoped.

"Duel Monsters, huh?" Jack asked.

The boy jumped slightly as he hadn't realized the other boy was behind him, then nodded once in response.

As Jack watched, the boy continued to lay out his cards in various combos. The blond boy walked around and sat down cross-legged on the ground across from the raven-haired boy. "You wanna duel?"

The boy shrugged without looking up from his cards.

"Don't you ever talk?"

He shrugged again.

"Well, how 'bout this," Jack suggested. "We duel; if I win, you tell me your name. If I lose, you get my best card. Deal?"

The nameless boy stared at the blonde for a long moment before scooping up his cards and slowly nodding.

"Okay! I'll even let you have the first move!" Both boys shuffled their decks and drew their first hand. The raven-haired boy drew another card, then placed Speed Warrior side ways on the grass, indicating that the card was summoned in defense mode. He added a face-down before nodding to Jack, signalling the end of his turn.

As the duel continued, Jack realized his plan wasn't going to work. Originally, he'd thought the boy would start talking as he played, but that wasn't the case at all. When he attacked, he would simply point at the monster on his field he was using and then point at the monster on Jack's field he wished to attack. But Jack enjoyed the duel nonetheless. No one at the home could hold a candle to the blonde in a duel - until now, anyway.

The two boys continued to throw-down for 25 minutes or so until Jack drew the card that would allow him to summon his ace. The younger boy had Junk Warrior on his field, but the monster was no match for Jack's beast.

"I summon Dark Resonator to my field. But now I'm gonna syncro summon to bring out my Red Dragon Archfiend. He attacks your Junk Warrior. So unless that face-down can stop him, you have no life points left!"

The boy shook his head, frowning as he picked up the card and moved it to his Graveyard pile.

"Now, then," Jack stated, crossing his arms. "Just as we agreed: What's your name?"

The boy gazed down at the grass in front of his feet, chewing on his bottom lip, as if debating whether or not to tell. After a few moments of silence, he finally spoke.

"Yusei," he whispered, still staring at the ground in front of him. "My name is Yusei."

* * *

><p>"You want to do what?" Dr. Schmidt asked skeptically. He shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea, Martha."<p>

"And why is that?" the woman asked, frowning and crossing her arms over her chest. "He's not stupid, doctor, and I believe he can learn - "

"I'm just warning you," he interrupted, "not to get your hopes up is all."

"He can already read, write, and perform enough math to keep track of his own life points in a duel. I think he can learn more. Besides," she added, "I don't need your permission, anyway. I am going to teach him science and math, and nothing you can say will stop me from trying!"

**One hour later.**

"Alright, Martha, so I was wrong!" Dr. Schmidt shrugged.

"You were _very _wrong, doctor!" Martha gloated slightly, a smile on her lips as she continued to prepare lunch. "He's really quite intelligent! Every concept I introduced to him, he seemed to catch on to right away! In math and science, anyway; he seems to struggle some with reading, but I'm sure he hasn't had much of an opportunity to read, either."

"Hmm, maybe so," he mused. "Where's he at now, anyway?"

"Outside," Martha answered, ignoring the change of subject, "playing soccer with the others. He seems to be quite skilled on the field as well."

Dr. Schmidt glanced out the window into the front yard where the children were playing. Yusei had the ball at center field with two kids from the other team headed straight for him. Somehow he managed to dodge them both, the ball still in his possession. Before a full minute had even passed, the newest boy had made a goal. His teammates cheered and ran towards him, giving him high-fives. Dr. Schmidt smiled slightly. "Indeed he is..."

* * *

><p>"Wait," Leo interrupted, "if you were outside playing soccer, then how do you know about those conversations?"<p>

"Well, I wasn't outside," Jack responded pleasantly. "You see, I got into trouble a lot when I was a little kid, and it just so happened that I was supposed to be in my room, carrying out a sentence, on that day. But, of course, I snuck out and, uh, _overheard _those conversations between Dr. Schmidt and Martha."

"I don't understand something," Akiza ventured. "If everything was getting better, then what is there left for you to tell?"

"Unless," Crow answered for Jack, "the story doesn't stay happy."

Jack nodded. "I wish I could say it does, but just as soon as the story turns sweet, it goes back to being sour, I'm afraid."

Akiza nodded once, bracing herself for what else the story might bring.

"Everything went well for several months," the blonde continued. "But it wasn't meant to last..."

* * *

><p><em>"Belief over misery<em>  
><em>I've seen the enemy<em>  
><em>And I won't go back<em>  
><em>Back to how it was<em>  
><em>And I've got my heart set <em>  
><em>On what happens next<em>  
><em>I've got my eyes wide<em>  
><em>And it's not over yet...<em>

_"Yeah this is home_  
><em>Now I'm finally where I belong"<em>  
>~Switchfoot: This is Home<p>

* * *

><p>Author's Notes: Kinda short I know. Sorry. But I guess I just wanted something a little happier in this rather depressing story. Plus they had to find out his name eventually...<p>

Anyway, please continue to review; I really appreciate it when you do^_^

Oh, one more thing: don't be afraid to criticize my story; constructive criticism is even better than a compliment^_^ (Though I like those too!)

Okay, that is all.


	6. Chapter 6 Trust Again

Author's Notes: Yay another new chapter! Already! Told ya it won't take as long now that I'm out for the summer^_^ The final chapter is already written as well, so it will more than likely be up on Monday! Anyway, thank you to all of my faithful reviewers^_^ I love you all to pieces! (Cookies anyone?) Anyway, enjoy^_^

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><p><strong>Chapter Six - Trust Again<strong>

"Alright, children," Martha spoke as she stood from the long kitchen table. "You may go play outside now. Yusei, it's your turn to help me with the dishes; the rest of you are free to go." The children all rushed for the door, except for Yusei, who stayed where he was. After the others had left, the young boy slowly rose from his place and began to clear the table while Martha filled the sink with hot, soapy water. The woman began to wash the dirty dishes as the boy carried them from the table to the counter-top next to the sink. As she plunged her hands into the suds, Martha smiled; Yusei loved helping her with anything she asked. The boy had come such a long way in the last six months.

Suddenly a loud crash followed by the sound of shattering glass broke through her thoughts. She spun around to find a horrified Yusei, where he'd landed on his knees as he'd tripped, staring wide-eyed at the broken plates on the white, tiled floor.

"I - I - I'm s-s-sorry!" he stuttered in a whisper before she even had the chance to ask if he was alright. He gulped, knowing what would surely come next. "It was an a-a-accident!"

Martha could see big tears forming in the boy's sapphire-blue eyes and suddenly remembered what had happened the last time he'd broken something. She took a step towards the frightened boy, her arms outstretched.

Yusei stood up and took a step back, the first tears spilling from his eyes. He didn't stop with one step, however; he continued to back away from her. "Please, please, don't hurt me!" he pleaded, more tears spilling down his cheeks. "Please, don't hurt me!"

Martha stopped dead in her tracks. Six months had past, it was true, but the raven-haired youth still didn't trust her; he still thought Martha was going to beat him, for that was all he'd ever truly known. Martha herself felt like crying at this realization. She took a few steps closer to him. He raised his arms to protect himself as she reached out towards him.

As he felt those strong arms drawing him into an embrace, he lowered his arms and wrapped them around the woman's neck, burying his head into her shoulder and sobbing.

Gently, she stroked his hair, as she spoke softly to him. "You really thought I would hurt you, child?" He nodded without lifting his head. "Shh! Shh! It's alright now, Yusei! If you believe nothing else, believe this: I will _never_ hurt you, child! _Never_!"

* * *

><p>"Let me guess," Leo interrupted again, "you <em>overheard <em>that exchange, too?"

Jack nodded. "That I did. When Yusei had dish duty, I always waited for him."

"So what happened next?" Akiza prompted.

"Well," Jack continued, "Martha helped him clean up the mess, and when he was done helping in the kitchen, we went out and played.

"But the whole point of my including this is because that day was when Yusei really started to trust people again. If took an unpleasant experience, but that experience was the start of turning everything around for the better."

"I though you said the story gets worse," Luna commented. "Sounds to me like it's just getting better."

"Well, worse _is _a relative term. Even thought that scene ended well enough in our minds, it still wasn't a pleasant event, especially in Yusei's mind. That event brought back all kinds of horrid memories to him. The next bit is the same: It's not in of itself bad, but it was not a pleasant memory for him; it is, however, another major turning point.

"Another week had past. It was raining that day, so we were all stuck inside. In the middle of the afternoon, the doorbell rang. Naturally we were all curious as to who the visitor was - not to mention that there was nothing else to do - so a few of us followed Martha to the door..."

* * *

><p>Little Yusei and Jack followed behind Martha, eager for something to do, even if she was just answering the door. Their caretaker unbolted the inside door and opened it. None of the three recognized the haggard woman standing in front of them on the porch: Her brown hair was a mass of tangled knots; her cloths, torn and tattered. But still Martha did not open the screen door to her; the woman had learned the hard way to never open her door to strangers.<p>

"May I help you?" she asked instead.

"I want my boy back!" the woman outside spat through gritted teeth. Yusei's eyes flew wide; he may not have recognized her appearance, but he could never forget the grating voice of this previous guardian. He gulped. Would Martha send him back to this horrid woman?

Martha frowned. "I'm afraid I don't know who you mean."

The other woman smiled evilly. "No," she responded, "but the boy does!" She pointed a gnarled finger at Yusei. "And I want him back!"

Martha stiffened. "I'm afraid that's not an option," she spoke bluntly.

The woman growled, her hands clenching into fists at her sides. "Well, how 'bout I _make _it an option? You return my boy, and I won't burn your house down in the middle of the night."

"I am most certainly _not_ afraid of you!" Martha stated, standing firm. "Yusei will _never _be subject to you again!" She extended an arm out in front of the raven-haired boy next to her, protectively pushing him behind her, as Jack placed his hands on he younger boy's shoulders. These actions caught Yusei off-guard; he hadn't expected them to protect him, but he was certainly glad that they were!

"Then I'll call Sector Security!" the woman commanded, raising her voice. "You _stole _him from me! They will come and shut you down, and then you won't be able to stop me from taking him back!"

Martha scoffed. "You really think Sector Security cares about a bunch of orphaned children in the Satellite?" She shook her head. "They have bigger fish to fry."

"He was placed in my care!" the woman shouted angrily. "I want him back! I have to fulfil my promise! - "

"I don't care what your reason," Martha interrupted calmly. "Yusei is staying right here! Now, please, remove yourself from my front porch."

"This isn't over!" she threatened as she backed up towards the porch steps. "This is _far _from over!" She turned and disappeared into the cold October rain.

Martha turned and knelt down, pulling the frightened Yusei into her warm embrace. "Don't you worry, child," she comforted. "That woman will _never_ get her hands on you as long as _I _have something to say about it!"

* * *

><p>"<em>You feel like a candle in a hurricane<em>  
><em>Just like a picture with a broken frame<em>  
><em>Alone and helpless<em>  
><em>Like you've lost your fight<em>  
><em>But you'll be alright, you'll be alright<em>

_"Cause when push comes to shove_  
><em>You taste what you're made of<em>  
><em>You might bend, 'til you break<em>  
><em>Cause it's all you can take<em>  
><em>On your knees you look up<em>  
><em>Decide you've had enough<em>  
><em>You get mad, you get strong<em>  
><em>Wipe your hands, shake it off<em>  
><em>Then you stand<em>"  
>~Rascal Flatts: Stand<p>

* * *

><p>Author's Notes: One chapter left... It's almost kind of depressing that this story is almost over... I really enjoyed writing it.<p>

Anyway, so I actually just kind of lied about there only being one chapter left... If you guys want it, I have an extra chapter planned based off of something Crow says in the next chapter. So if you want to see two more chapters instead of one, leave me a review^_^


	7. Chapter 7 And the Rest is History

Author's Notes: Sorry the ending is short^^; Anyway, thank you so much to all the people who have reviewed and have stuck with me through the whole story^_^ I love you guys to pieces! 3

Anyway, enjoy the final chapter^_^

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seven - And the Rest is History<strong>

"We never did see that woman again," Jack concluded. "Whether she died, was killed, or simply forgot her threat, we'll never know."

"So what happened next then?" Leo asked. "The story can't end there!"

"Actually," Jack stated, "it does. Yusei learned to trust again, but hiding his emotions was such habit, and it was a habit that was never broken. And, as they say, the rest is history."

Akiza furrowed her brow. "But what did she mean by 'he was placed in her care,' and that she had to fulfil a promise?"

Jack shook his head. "I don't know. And I suppose we never will know, either."

Leo glanced over at Crow, who seemed to be lost in thought. "Something wrong, Crow?"

"Huh?" he responded, jolted from his thoughts. "Oh... uh, no; just thinking about how, now that I've heard this story, how another piece of Yusei's past makes sense." He shook his head.

"What do you mean?" Luna asked.

"Well, what happened when he was little kinda caused problems for him when he got a little older, is all."

"How so?" Akiza questioned, a look of suspicion on her face.

Crow stared at the female signer for a moment before responding. "It's not exactly a story for young ears..."

"Oh, c'mon!" Leo protested. "How much worse could it be than the story Jack just told?"

Crow shook his head. "Nope, not gonna tell it. Sorry, but, like Jack said earlier, it's not my place to tell it. Not to mention, like I said before, it's not a story for young ears."

Akiza shook her head. "If you're talking about what I think you are, I think they're old enough to handle it, Crow. Though I'm seriously hoping I'm thinking wrong..."

"Still," he responded. "It's not my place. Plus, it's getting late, so you three should pry by getting home."

"Aw! Not fair!" Leo pouted.

Crow sighed, scratching his head. "How 'bout this, Leo: I'll make you a deal. You guys go home before it gets an later, and _maybe _I'll tell you that story sometime. How's that sound?"

"It's not like I have a choice..." Leo mumbled as he continued to pout.

The bird duelist shook his head, smiling; that was Leo for you, he guessed. "C'mon; I'll give ya a ride on the Blackbird."

* * *

><p><em>"In a moment, everything can change,<em>  
><em>Feel the wind on your shoulder,<em>  
><em>For a minute, all the world can wait,<em>  
><em>Let go of your yesterday...<em>

_"Fly_  
><em>Open up the part of you that wants to hide away<em>  
><em>You can shine,<em>  
><em>Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,<em>  
><em>And start to try, cause it's your time,<em>  
><em>Time to fly...<em>

_"In a moment, everything can change."_  
><em>~Hilary Duff: Fly<em>

* * *

><p>Author's Notes: Can anyone guess what the bonus chapter is gonna be about? Haha, yes, I am going to post a bonus chapter! It's about half written at the point and as soon as I get off, I'm gonna be working on it^_^<p>

Even though this is the end, I'd still love to see reviews! They really do make my day^_^


	8. Chapter 8 Dangerous Cure

Author's Notes: You have my writer's block to thank for this taking so darn long _... In the last three days I have written _maybe_ 20 sentences... That is not a good thing... As it is, this is only the first part of two... I felt cruel keeping you people in suspense for any longer, so I decided to split the bonus chapter into two parts. Enjoy part one while I try to get past this stupid writer's block (I am hoping I won't have to wait too horrible long to get the second half to you but don't count on anything too soon either).

Oh and just an FYI: This is kind of a flashback from Crow, like the rest of the story has been a flashback from Jack. I don't have that anywhere in this chapter since I ended up breaking it into two parts. However, I've been thinking: What would you guys think if I just made this a continuation of the story instead of it just being a bonus chapter? If you'd like to see a few more chapters instead of two (or maybe three...it's gonna be pretty long) then let me know, and I could totally do that^_^

Anyway, Enjoy^_^

* * *

><p><strong>Bonus Chapter - Part One<strong>

Fifteen-year old Crow emerged from the room he and Kalin shared at the Enforcer's hideout; Jack had challenged him to a practice duel, and Crow wasn't about to back down. The bird duelist went to the stairs that led down to the ground floor but stopped short with his right foot hanging in space above the first step. Something seemed off, though, at first, Crow couldn't place what it was. He turned back to the upstairs hallway, hoping to find was seemed _wrong _to him.

There the problem was: The door to the room Jack and Yusei shared was closed; that door was never closed unless everyone was headed to bed or had just gotten up in the morning. Crow frowned. It seemed strange, yes, but was _definitely not _cause for concern. Crow turned, shaking his head to rid his mind of its suspicions, and disappeared back down the stairs, then out the door to where Kalin and Jack were waiting.

"Took ya long enough!" Crow's opponent called.

The orange-haired teen ignored Jack's comment as he quickly closed the distance. "Where's Yusei?" he asked, noticing the raven-haired boy's absence. "I figured he'd be all over watching this."

Kalin shrugged. "Said he had a headache and went to take a nap." That explained why the door was closed; he probably didn't want to be disturbed.

"Alright; let's do this then!" Crow exclaimed, activating his duel disk.

* * *

><p>"Kalin," Crow asked, "did the atmosphere feel kinda off this evening to you?"<p>

The blue-haired teen turned on his side in bed to face his would-be brother. "Maybe a little, I guess. Why?"

Crow shrugged. "I don't know... Yusei just seemed kinda out of it is all..."

"You noticed that too?" Kalin asked, sitting up in surprise.

The bird duelist nodded. "Yeah... I don't know, Kalin; maybe I'm just being paranoid, but something just seemed... _off _about him tonight..."

Kalin laid back down on his back. "I'm sure it's nothing... Maybe that headache was still bothering him. Besides, Yusei can take care of himself. 'Night, Crow."

* * *

><p>"...That leaves you wide open for a direct attack!" Yusei declared. "Nitro Warrior, finish off his life points!"<p>

"Aw, man!" Crow responded as his life points hit rock-bottom. "How did I _not _see something like coming?"

Yusei laughed lightly as the two closed the distance that had made the playing field only a moment before. "Good match, bro!"

"Yeah, you too!" Crow responded as they clapped hands in a high-five. "That was one wicked combo at the end!"

"Yeah," Yusei laughed, scratching the back of his head with his left hand. "You have Kalin to thank for that one! We were going through my deck yesterday and - "

"Yusei," Crow interrupted suddenly in a serious, concerned tone, "what did you do to your arm?"

"Huh?" Yusei's smile vanished, replaced by a look of slight confusion.

Crow grabbed his raven-haired friend's left forearm right above where his duel disk was connected his arm, turning it so the palm of his hand faced up. "What happened?"

Yusei glanced down at his arm where a three-inch long visible cut was just starting to scab over. "Oh... That..." Silence. "I... uh... It's fine, Crow; nothing to worry about!" he dismissed with a slight smile. He tried to pull away, but Crow's grip was firm.

The two locked gazes, Yusei's smile disappearing again; Crow's grey eyes shone with a hard determination. "I wanna know what happened, Yusei. How'd you get that cut on your arm?" Normally he would have let the matter drop, but the fact that Yusei refused to tell him was what had Crow concerned.

"Why does it matter?" he questioned in response.

"Why don't you wanna tell me?" Two could play at this game.

"I have my reasons," Yusei responded, a note of agitation entering his voice.

"Well, so do I," Crow responded adamantly. They stood in stony silence for a few moments, both trying to win the battle of wills over the other, both knowing neither would. "Look,man," Crow added after a moment, his voice low and calm, concealing a note of urgency. "I don't wanna have to assume things, okay? But right now I am." He released his friend's arm. "You're as good as a brother to me, Yusei - heck, _better _than a brother. I'd hate to think you're hurting yourself just because you don't wanna tell me what happened."

The young raven-haired duelist averted his gaze, his right hand reaching over to cover the cut. "I'm not."

Crow sighed, scratching the back of his head. "If you say so, then I believe you."

Without another word, Yusei turned and headed in the direction of the hideout. "C'mon," he called over his shoulder. "Kalin and Jack will be wondering if we got jumped or something before long!"

* * *

><p>Crow couldn't sleep that night. He just couldn't seem to shake the feeling that his best friend - <em>his brother<em> - was lying to him. That cut on Yusei's arm had looked _deliberate _to Crow. But he knew he couldn't ask about it again. For one thing, he knew he'd just get the same story; for another, he'd said that he believed Yusei's word, so if he asked, it was the same as saying he didn't trust his brother. So what was he supposed to do in a situation like this? If Yusei really was hurting himself, Crow couldn't just let it go! He had to do something! - But what? How could he help someone who obviously didn't want to be helped?

He remembered once when Martha had told him if a situation was too big for him to handle alone, then there was no shame in asking for help. So maybe that's what he needed, to tell someone of his suspicions. But what if it was nothing? Then he'd get everyone worked up for nothing and possibly lose a friend and a brother.

In the end, Crow's thoughts kept coming back to the same question: What if Yusei really was hurting himself?

Crow sat up in bed. The middle of the night was _not _the best time for conversations like this, he knew, but he had to talk to someone. "Hey, Kalin," Crow spoke just above a whisper. "You awake?"

It was a good thing for Crow that his roommate was a light sleeper. "Something wrong, Crow?" Kalin yawned, turning over on his mattress to face the other boy.

Crow chewed on his bottom lip for a moment. "Can't sleep," he finally responded. "Somethin' happened earlier today..." His voice trailed off, unsure of how to continue.

"You wanna talk about it?" Kalin prompted after a moment, as he lit a big candle that sat between the mattresses on the floor.

Crow remained silent for a moment. "I don't know... I don't want to make a big deal out of potentially nothing, but it really could be something serious, too."

"If there's even the slightest chance it's serious, we need to talk," Kalin responded. "Better safe than sorry. So what's going on?"

"It's about Yusei," Crow started hesitantly. "I think something's wrong..." His voice trailed off again in uncertainty.

"Like?" Kalin prompted again.

Crow sighed. 'Okay, I'm just gonna have to spit it out,' he thought. Taking a deep breath, he blurted, "I think maybe Yusei's cutting himself." There; he'd said it. Maybe not the most tactful way to tell someone, but at least his concerns were out in the open now.

"I see," Kalin stated slowly. The silence that followed was palpable and unbearable. After what seemed like an eternity, Kalin broke the silence. "Do you have any proof of this, Crow?"

The younger boy shook his head. "Not exactly, but I do know what I saw after me and Yus' dueled..." Crow continued to tell what had taken place the day before. "It just seemed like he was trying to hide, like he was ashamed," Crow concluded.

"Well, Yusei doesn't like to make a fuss of things that have to do with himself," Kalin started, "but this does sound mighty suspicious, regardless. How 'bout you and me talk to him tomorrow. Our food supply is getting low so we can send Jack out to get more; the conversation will just be between the three of us."

* * *

><p>"Jack, why don't you go see what you can get for food," Kalin suggested after breakfast the next morning. "We're starting to run kinda low..."<p>

"Sure." The blonde shrugged.

"I'll go with you," Yusei volunteered. "It usually takes two to carry everything."

"He can manage," Crow stated.

Yusei gave him a funny look. "Some reason you don't want me to go?"

"N-no," Crow stuttered. "But, uh, we have a job here that needs three people. We need to scout out a team's hideout, and it'll be faster with the three of us."

"We can do it when I get back then," Yusei shrugged.

"Well, uh, it's kinda important that we do it now," Kalin added. "While Jack goes to get more food."

"What's the big deal?" Jack cut in. "If he wants to come with me, then let him!" The blonde stalked out of the room to start his task. Yusei followed close behind, but not before shooting daggers through his gaze at Crow.

After the two had departed, Crow asked, "So you think he knows that I didn't believe him and that I told you?"

Kalin sighed. "I'd say so. I'd also say that this confirms your suspicion. ...This is going to be a lot harder than I thought."

* * *

><p><em>"Turn around, they might be watching<em>  
><em>And you never disappoint them<em>  
><em>Hide your innocence before they see right through<em>  
><em>You mustn't disappoint them<em>

_"You need the danger just to feel your heart beat_  
><em>You need to die just to find your identity<em>  
><em>You need the knife just to know that you can bleed<em>  
><em>You need the pain now just to feel anything"<em>  
>~RED: Feed the Machine<p>

* * *

><p>Author's Notes: So now you have an idea of what's going on... (Please don't kill me!) The next chapter is pry gonna be pretty long but there is a ton to it... Unless of course you'd just like to see more to the story, like I mentioned at the beginning... Oh, and just a word of WARNING: The next part could almost be rated Mature... It gets a little *ahem* bloody in parts...<p>

Reviews still? Pretty Please?


	9. Chapter 9 A Thin, Red Line

Author's Notes: I am amazed... Personally, I didn't know how well the last chapter would be received... But I got multiple reviews so you people must have liked it well enough... Thanks for the reviews by the way^_^

As you can see, this is no longer a bonus chapter. It is now as much a part of the story as chapter one is.

**WARNING:** I feel the need to let you now that this chapter gets a little graphic for a couple of paragraphs. Sorry, but that's just the way it is.

With all that said, enjoy^_^

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Nine - A Thin, Red Line<strong>

Crow and Kalin spent the morning scouting out the hideout of the Enforcers' next opponent. "It shouldn't be difficult at all to breach," Kalin spoke as the two returned for lunch.

"What won't be?" Jack asked from where he was seated at a make-shift table, chowing down on a sandwich.

"Getting into Team Hurricane's hideout," Crow answered as he started to make a sandwich for himself. "We've been scouting it out all morning."

"Say, where's Yusei?" asked Kalin as he took a bite of his lunch and plopped down in a chair.

Jack shrugged. "Upstairs, I think. Why do you ask?"

Crow stopped mid-bite. Yusei was upstairs. Alone. Not a good combination in his mind. He glanced at Kalin who gave him a knowing look. Crow shoved the rest of his sandwich in his mouth and headed for the stairs as Kalin responded, "Oh, no reason. Just wondered."

He reached the top of the stairs and slowly, quietly, cautiously approached the door to Yusei and Jack's room; the sight of the closed door sent Crow's stomach to knotting itself up. He tried to swallow the lump forming in his throat, trying to find the energy to open the door in front of him. Bracing himself for what he might find on the other side, he reached a hand towards the warn doorknob. Turning it, he slowly pushed the old wooden door open.

Sitting in the far corner of the room with his knees pulled up towards him, was Crow's friend. Yusei didn't seem to notice that the door had opened; he was much too focused on what he was going, his sapphire eyes closed tightly. What he was focused on was what had Crow scared half to death as he stood, staring, in the doorway.

In his right hand, Yusei held a silver pocket knife with the four-inch blade out. His left hand was resting palm up on his knee. The steal blade was pressed into the flesh of Yusei's left forearm. Already a thin, red line was visible, both along the blade and as the crimson blood traced a path down his arm.

Crow couldn't seem to be able to move his feet. This is what he had expected, sure, but the sight still caught him off-guard. It was difficult for Crow to think of his friend doing this.

When Crow finally found his feet, he approached his friend cautiously, quietly; Yusei didn't even realize the other teen was in the room. As the bird duelist knelt down beside him, Crow could see his friend digging the cold, steal blade deeper and deeper into his flesh.

It had to stop.

Now.

Crow placed his hand over Yusei's on the handle of the blade. The raven-haired teen's eyes flew wide as he realized someone else was in the room with him. He was suddenly breathing hard, as though he had been holding his breath for quite some time. His grip on the blade tightened for a moment before loosening enough for Crow to slip it free from his grasp.

Crow sat back, thankful his friend hadn't struggled to keep the knife. Clicking the blade closed, he sighed. "Why?" he whispered. "Why did you do it?"

Yusei turned his head away, unable to bare making eye contact. "You wouldn't understand," he whispered bitterly, his voice shaking slightly.

"You don't know that," Crow gently prompted. "I might if you'd just talk to me..."

"You wouldn't," he spoke stubbornly. "_Believe me_."

"I just wanna help." Crow sounded defeated. "I can't do that if you won't tell me what's wrong."

Yusei squeezed his eyes closed again. He didn't want help; he wanted to be left alone! Was that so much to ask? He gritted his teeth as the physical pain from the cut mixed with the mental pain of his mind. He silently wished that Crow would walk out of the room, leaving the pocket knife behind to bring him relief again. But Yusei knew his friend wouldn't. His mind screamed out, wanting physical pain to blot out the mental agony. Desperate for any kind of relief, he subconsciously brought his right hand over to his left left forearm, his fingernails digging under the scab of the last cut, trying to reopen the wound.

A small section of the scab came loose, his nails breaking the seal between skin and dried blood. The warm, red fluid rushed up, first filling the gap, then spilling over and creating a second stream down his arm. Another small piece chipped off, the blood adding to the second stream, darkening the crimson drops as they rolled down his arm. His nails continued to dig deeper into old and new cuts alike, bringing more blood to the surface with each passing second.

Before he could remove any more of the scab, he felt a pair of strong hands forcing his own apart. No matter how hard he fought, Yusei couldn't shake this pair of hands. He stopped fighting against his restraint, his breathing hard and shaky from a combination of the struggle and the pain in his forearm. Without opening his eyes, he already knew who else was in the room: If it had been Crow trying to restrain him, Yusei would have been able to struggle out of the teen's grasp; the only one strong enough to hold him was Kalin.

"Calm down, Yusei." The gentle words definitely belonged to Kalin. "Just calm down. Please. You're all worked up. You're not thinking clearly. Just calm down. Take a deep breath." Yusei obeyed as those hands continued to hold firm around his wrists. "That's it. Just calm down." The room fell silent as Yusei struggled to try to calm down. "Deep breaths," Kalin's voice instructed gently as he slowly loosened his grip on the other teen's wrists.

Yusei slumped back against the wall, eyes still closed, as every sense seemed to go numb.

"Crow," Kalin spoke, directing his words to the orange-haired teen this time. "Go get me the first-aid kit, please. I don't want this cut to get infected." Crow stood to leave. "But leave that pocket knife of Yusei's." The orange-haired teen gave Kalin a strange look. "Just trust me." The bird duelist placed the blood-crusted blade on the floor and left to find the needed medical kit.

Kalin turned back to the other boy in the room. "Yusei, look at me. Please." No response. Kalin sighed. "Alright, then, just listen. I'm not gonna try to stop you from cutting." The raven-haired boy looked up in surprise as Kalin held out the knife to him. "I'm serious: I'm not gonna try to stop you. Somehow this is a kind of 'cure' for you, so I'm not gonna take that away. I don't know what goes on in that head of yours, but chances are, I wouldn't understand if I did know. So I'm not gonna try to stop you. You're in pain; I can see that. If this is how you cope with it, then fine; cut up your arm to your heart's content."

He sighed as Yusei took the knife back. "Fact of the matter is, nothing I can do or say will stop you from cutting. You are the only one who can decide to stop. All I can do is to try to give you a reason to not feel the need to hurt yourself anymore. I'll always be here for you, bro; I'll always listen if you wanna talk."

"Why?" Yusei whispered, averting his gaze again. "Why aren't you trying to stop me?"

Kalin gave a small, sad smile. Even though he'd already answered that question, he understood what Yusei was really asking. "I've known other people who have cut. If you try to take away their choice tool, they'll find another way. If you tell them to stop, that's just one more reason for them to do it again. I want to give you a reason to stop, not a reason to continue.

"You can keep going if that's what you really want, but I don't think it is. You want an escape - a release of some kind. Cutting gives you that, but it doesn't last. Eventually the pain comes back, doesn't it?"

Yusei nodded once. "Everytime I hope it'll help longer... But it doesn't. So I just end up doing it again," he mumbled.

"Just answer me this, then I'll leave you alone, okay? Just tell me if cutting is really what you want to do. There are other ways to get rid of the pain you're going through - _without _hurting yourself. So just tell me: Is this what you really want?"

Yusei turned his head away, closing his eyes, as he fiddled with the pocket knife Kalin had returned to him. He swallowed hard. "I don't know, Kalin," he admitted softly. "I don't know anything anymore."

* * *

><p><em>"Enemy, familiar friend<em>  
><em>My beginning and my end.<em>  
><em>Knowing truth, whispering lies<em>  
><em>And it hurts again.<em>

_"What I fear and what I've tried,_  
><em>Words I say and what I hide.<em>  
><em>All the pain, I want it to end<em>  
><em>But I want it again.<em>

_"I'm still the same, pursuing pain._  
><em>Is it worth all that I've gained?<em>  
><em>We both know how this will end,<em>  
><em>But I'd do it again.<em>

_"And it finds me_  
><em>The fight inside is coursing through my veins.<em>  
><em>And it's raging<em>  
><em>The fight inside is hurting me again.<em>

_"And it finds me_  
><em>The war within me pulls me under.<em>  
><em>And without You<em>  
><em>The fight inside is breaking me again.<em>

_"(It's nothing.) It's everything. (x4)_

_"It's breaking me. It's breaking me._  
><em>I'm falling apart. I'm falling apart."<em>  
>~RED: Fight Inside<p>

* * *

><p>Author's Notes: I know some of you are probably thinking that Kalin's thinking is rather backwards, but it's not. Kalin is the one who did the right thing in this situation; Crow was the one who did the wrong thing. Crow was trying to get Yusei to talk by telling him that maybe he'd understand: WRONG. That is not what you say to someone in that much pain; there is no possible way you will understand what that person is feeling... or at least if you can relate, that person isn't going to believe you, so they aint gonna tell ya what they're going through.<p>

...

Okay, I'm not gonna get into a big long speech about this (though I really could...). If you wanna know more about how Kalin was in the right and Crow was in the wrong, you'll have to PM me and ask. (And keep reading... Kalin explains a little further to Crow in the next chapter).

Anyway, reviews? Pretty please? What you people have to say really makes my day^_^


	10. Chapter 10 Escape

Author's Notes: So I have officially decided that it was a very good thing that I split up the one bonus chapter into multiple chapters; the whole thing written out in my notebook is 19 pages, and I'm not done yet! (Normally one chapter written out is only about 5-8 pages XD) Anyway, this probably could have been up sooner but I ended up spending more time than I had planned out at the lake today... (I spent just a tad too much time in the sun, and now I resemble a tomato XD)

Oh, and just thought I should clarify: A few readers have brought this to my attention. Crow_ does _care, and to a point he did do the right thing. He did the right thing in the sense that when he saw Yusei cutting, he stopped him. Taking the knife, however, was still the wrong thing. Crow just doesn't understand how to help.

Anyway, thanks again for all the reviews^_^ You guys are great! So here you are: Enjoy^_^

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Ten - Escape<strong>

"You told him WHAT?" Crow asked angrily.

Kalin held out his hands in defense. "Just let me finish, okay? You need to understand something, here. We can help him stop, Crow, but it won't be by confiscating his pocketknife. You've already seen what he'll do in that case: He'll just use his fingernails or anything else he can get his hands on instead. If we take his knife, it'll just make him want to do it more. Not to mention, it's probably safer this way; it takes a whole heck-of-a-lot more force to cut with something dull than something sharp..."

"So it'd actually do less damage for him to use a knife," Crow finished. "But ya still shouldn't have told him you wouldn't try to stop him."

Kalin sighed. "I know it doesn't seem to make sense, but you're gonna have to trust me, Crow. I've known people in the past who have cut, so I know at least a little bit about how to handle this. You need to trust my judgment; _I need to know _that you trust my judgment."

"Alright, yeah," Crow stated softly with a sigh. "I'll go with whatever you say. I just don't like seeing him like this is all."

"I know," Kalin agreed. "I don't either. But that's why you need to trust me."

"So what do we do?" Crow asked after a moment. "What's the plan?"

"You're gonna think this to be backwards too, but we don't do anything. I know you think I'm crazy, but we can't do anything to help unless he wants us to help. Right now, at least, he doesn't, so all we can do is be supportive. Let him know he can talk to us if he wants to - that sort of thing - but it'll still be easier said than done for him, I'm sure. When you're in pain that intense, it's difficult to want to be around people, much more to talk about what's wrong; you just want to be alone.

"And that's another thing: Don't tell Jack _anything _about what's going on. The fewer number of people know, the easier it'll be for him to want to talk to us. He might be more open to us if he knows we aren't gonna go pass it on to someone else."

"Yeah," Crow confirmed, "most of that sounded the opposite of what I figured it would be."

"I know, but, believe it or not, it works."

All was silent for a moment. Crow sighed. "So, you have any idea at all what's bothering him so badly?"

Kalin shook his head sadly. "I can see that he's in a lot of pain mentally, but I have no idea over what. He's desperate for a way to ease that pain, and that's why he cuts. But, since he's already admitted to me that it only helps for a short time, it might not be as difficult as we think to help him break this addiction."

"Wait, 'addiction?'" Crow asked. "This is something he chooses..."

Kalin shook his head again. "It's true that he chooses to do it, but cutting has a similar effect on the mind as drugs. You do it so many times, and your mind will start to crave it. You start to _need _it, and the longer you use it, the harder it is to stop. ...We're lucky in that respect; I think Yusei has only cut a few times. It'll be easier for him if he decides to try to stop now after, say, three cuts, than a month from now after, say, thirty cuts."

"So how do we get him to decide to stop?"

"That's the tough part," Kalin sighed. "He has to decide on his own that it's not what he wants. So, once again, we can't really do anything."

"Man!" Crow exclaimed. "That's not fair! There's gotta be _something_!"

Kalin sighed again. "The only thing we can do is be supportive. That's all. Trust me: I wish there was something else, too, but there just isn't.

"You just can't force someone to want help."

* * *

><p>"Hey, Kalin, can I talk to you?" Yusei asked softly. A few days had past, and the two boys were sitting outside, watching Jack and Crow go at it dueling once again.<p>

"Sure," the older boy responded simply.

Yusei swallowed. "Alone, please?"

"Sure," he replied calmly, standing up. "Let's go inside."

Kalin and Yusei disappeared inside, the other two duelists not even noticing their sudden absence. Yusei followed Kalin into the kitchen area before the older stopped and asked, "So what did you want to talk to me about?"

Yusei hesitated, staring at some obviously fascinating spot on the floor, not wanting to make eye contact. "Here," he finally spoke without looking up, as he held out a silver pocket knife. "I don't want it anymore."

Now it was Kalin's turn to hesitate. "Are you sure?"

Yusei nodded. "Positive. I don't wanna keep doing this, Kalin."

"I'm glad to hear that," Kalin spoke softly, taking the knife from his friend's outstretched hand. "But are you sure you can deal without it?"

The raven-haired teen hesitated again. "No," he sighed. "No, I'm not sure I can. Not without something to replace it, anyway."

Kalin smiled slightly. "Well, we can some up with something together. How's that sound?" He sat down at the table, and Yusei followed suit.

"What if it doesn't help?"

"Then we come up with something else. And we _keep _coming up with ideas until we find one that works."

Yusei nodded. "So what would you suggest?"

* * *

><p>Yusei hated running. Well, he didn't <em>hate it <em>exactly; he just didn't _particularly enjoy it _either. That's why running had been made a last resort to replace his cutting. But here he was, three weeks later, running through the streets of Satellite, hoping he wouldn't get jumped by a rival duel gang since he no longer trusted himself to carry a knife. They had simply run out of ideas; nothing yet had worked, and those failures had resulted in several more purposeful injuries to Yusei's arm. The raven-haired teen was starting to get desperate; hence the running. Kalin had told him that running was a good way to work of tension, stress, just about anything - and as Yusei continued to run, he was starting to believe it. The further he went, the better he began to feel, as his negative emotions were left behind with every footfall. He pushed himself to the max, running about three miles in just under twenty minutes, before coming to a stop in front of the hideout.

Kalin appeared from the shadowed hall inside, holding a glass of water with a few ice cubes floating in it. Handing the glass to Yusei, he asked, "So? How'd it go?"

Yusei took a sip of the cold drink. "I think," he panted, "that this just might work..."

Kalin smiled. "Good! I'm glad to hear that!"

Yusei smiled back, wiping the sweat out of his eyes. "Yeah, me too; especially since we're kinda running out of options..."

"Heh, yeah..." Kalin commented, as he thought, 'Let's just hope it _continues_ to work...'

* * *

><p>Yusei leaned against the closed bedroom door, breathing heavily. It had been nearly two weeks since he'd first started running, and he had just returned once again from a three-mile run. But this time it was different.<p>

This time it hadn't helped.

Over the last week, the positive effects of running had slowly begun to diminish. No matter how hard he pushed himself, he still felt the need to cut a little stronger each time afterward. His friends were deceived to this fact, however; he had told Kalin and Crow that running was still helping just fine.

Oh well; it was just one more thing they were oblivious to.

He sank down to the floor, head leaning back against the door. He was starting to wish he hadn't given Kalin his knife after all. It would be so easy to just slit open his arm here and now to quell his raging thoughts.

NO. ...No... He couldn't do that; he didn't _want _to do that...

And yet... The thought was so inviting. He started to shake, his hands clenching into fists where they rested on the floor. 'Do it!' his thoughts screamed at him. 'DO IT!' He could no longer control himself as he rose back up off the floor and moved across the room to the broken window. He opened his eyes to search the frame for a shard of glass large enough to use. Spotting one, he moved to pull it out.

"Yusei?" a soft voice spoke from the doorway. "Are you alright?"

The raven-haired teen didn't need to turn around in order to know that Kalin had followed him up. Yusei was still shaking as he backed up towards the nearest wall, sliding down it until he once again sat on the floor. He shook his head.

"I though maybe you weren't," Kalin sighed as he crossed the room to his friend's side. Crouching down next to Yusei, Kalin hesitated before continuing. "I hate to say this, but I think the only way you're gonna get through the pain is to talk about what's causing it. I know you don't like the idea, but it's the only one I've got. Otherwise..." Kalin brought out Yusei's silver pocketknife and set it on the floor next to the troubled teen. "It's back to this." He sighed again as he stood. "I'm not gonna force you to talk, Yusei, but if you want to, I'll be down stairs. Jack and Crow went out for supplies, so it'd just be you and me." Without another word, Kalin turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

* * *

><p><em>"Memories consume<em>  
><em>Like opening the wound<em>  
><em>I'm picking me apart again<em>  
><em>You all assume<em>  
><em>I'm safe here in my room<em>  
><em>Unless I try to start again...<em>

_"Clutching my cure_  
><em>I tightly lock the door<em>  
><em>I try to catch my breath again<em>  
><em>I hurt much more<em>  
><em>Than anytime before<em>  
><em>I had no options left again<em>

_"I don't want to be the one_  
><em>The battles always choose<em>  
><em>'Cause inside I realize<em>  
><em>That I'm the one confused<em>

_"I don't know what's worth fighting for_  
><em>Or why I have to scream. ...<em>  
><em>I don't know how I got this way<em>  
><em>I know it's not alright.<em>  
><em>So I'm breaking the habit,<em>  
><em>I'm breaking the habit<em>  
><em>Tonight"<em>  
>~Linkin Park: Breaking the Habit<p>

* * *

><p>Author's Notes: So? What do you guys think is gonna happen? Is Yusei gonna go back to cutting? Or is he gonna find a way to break the habit?<p>

As always, I love reviews^_^ They always have - and always will! - make my day^_^


	11. Chapter 11 Choices

Author's Notes: Once again, you can blame my writer's block for this taking so darn long! ...However you can't blame it solely on that... With all the feedback I've gotten from you guys, I had to make sure I wrote this part just right. A few of you have said "I totally know what this is like..." so I took my time writing this, knowing that people identify with this, so I didn't want to rush this part. I hope I don't disappoint those who have said "I totally know how he feels..." ...

Anyway, sit back, relax, and enjoy this super long chapter^_^

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eleven - Choices<strong>

Yusei stared down at the shining steal knife on the floor. His hand shook almost uncontrollably as he picked it up and flicked the blade out. He stared down at his left forearm, already riddled with scars. Gripping the handle of the blade tightly in his right hand, he squeezed his eyes closed. If he was going to resort back to this, he wasn't about to watch himself do it. His breathing quickened as thoughts and memories assaulted him, urging him on once more.

This isn't what he wanted! Why couldn't he figure out another way to get rid of this pain? to get get rid of this worthless feeling? His shaking hand was slowly moving the blade closer to its target. 'It's hopeless!' he thought bitterly. '_I'm _hopeless! I've told myself I'm _done _with this, but somehow I keep going back! Just one more thing I've failed at... Just one more reason to cut...' He could feel the cold steal make contact with his skin. '_Can't do anything right..._' The sharp edge bit into his arm as memories of when he was younger played through his head. '_Impossible... Worthless... Failure..._' The blade dug deeper, blood slowly rising to the surface. '_Good-for-nothing... Inadequate... Hopeless..._' As the blade continued to sink deeper, blood began to roll in drops down his arm, leaving a crimson path.

But it wasn't helping. Usually the pain pounding through his head would dull, but those thoughts and memories were still running strong through his mind. '_Never be able to do anything right..._' Maybe if he pushed a little further, cut a little deeper... '_Stupid... Careless...Worthless..._' Something wasn't right; why wasn't it helping?

'_No one is worthless_,' a gentle voice whispered in his head; strangely enough the whisper was more overwhelming than the screams echoing in his mind. '_Least of all you, Yusei_.'

"Martha," he whispered allowed. He remember that first conversation vividly; when he was ten, Martha had overheard him calling himself worthless. After that day, she had never missed a chance to let Yusei know just how much he was worth.

A single, unbidden tear found its way out of the corner of his eye, his hand starting to shake even more violently as the conversation played through his head. Why was he doing this? Why was he still listening to everything his first guardian had told him? Why was he letting the past rule the present?

With everything he had left, he forced himself to pull the knife away from his arm and hurl it across the room. But what could he do now? This battle wasn't over yet; his thoughts were still raging and the pain still remained. 'I guess,' he somehow managed to to conclude, 'there's only one option left...'

* * *

><p>"Kalin."<p>

The leader of the Enforcers looked up from the book he was reading at the sound of his name. Standing in the doorway was his raven-haired friend, looking completely disheveled. He closed his book as he stood from the kitchen chair. "Yusei, you okay?"

The troubled teen closed his eyes as he leaned his head against the door frame. He swallowed hard. "No. I cut again." He felt a hand on his shoulder; opening his stormy eyes, he was met with his friends reassuring golden eyes.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Kalin gently prompted.

Yusei nodded his head once. "But I'm not sure I can..."

Kalin lightly squeezed his friend's shoulder, a slight smile appearing. "That's okay; just saying you want to is a start. Come sit down, let me take care of your arm, and we'll go from there, okay?"

* * *

><p>"I don't even know where to start," Yusei murmured, gazing down at his hands clasped on the table in front of him. "I know I can't keep doing this, Kalin; I <em>know<em>, but..." He sighed in frustration. "How did I get myself into this mess in the first place?"

Kalin shrugged. "If you don't know, who does?"

The raven-haired teen couldn't help but smirk at the rather cliche question. "I really don't know." The room fell silent, his smile fading. He rubbed the back of his neck with one hand, trying to figure out what to say, but for some reason the words just wouldn't come.

Kalin was the one to break the silence. "Well, how 'bout we start with what you're feeling when you cut," he suggested. "What are you feeling before you do it?"

Yusei hesitated. How could he explain this to Kalin? He wasn't even sure if he himself completely understood! "Like..." He tried to start but trailed off, sighing, frustration evident on his face.

"Take your time," Kalin spoke gently. "I sent Jack and Crow clear across the Satellite; they won't be back 'til tomorrow."

"Okay," he whispered, running a hand through his spiky hair. A minute ticked by as Yusei tried unsuccessfully to gather his thoughts. He stood up suddenly, slamming his fist into the table and sending his chair clattering to the floor behind him. "I can't do this, Kalin!" he spat in frustration. Shaking slightly, he turned abruptly and went to the busted-out window across the room and leaned against its frame. Eyes closed, he let out a shuttering sigh.

He heard Kalin rise, his chair scraping harshly against the cement floor. Yusei opened his eyes and glanced over in time to see a perfectly un-phased Kalin righting the chair Yusei himself had knocked over a moment before. Closing his eyes again, he continued to try to calm himself down after that childish outburst. Upon feeling a hand on his shoulder, he opened his eyes once again and turned his head towards Kalin.

"It's so frustrating!" Yusei whispered, averting his eyes back out the window.

Kalin watched his friend intently, waiting for him to continue. Yusei swallowed hard, closing his eyes again and leaning his head against the window frame. Realizing his friend more than likely wouldn't continue without prompting, he spoke: "What's frustrating, Yusei?"

Yusei swallowed hard again. Opening his eyes half-way, he elaborated. "Knowing how you feel and not being able to put it into words for someone else to understand."

Kalin sighed, squeezing his friend's shoulder gently; this wasn't gonna be easy in the slightest - especially if Yusei kept getting more and more frustrated with himself. He thought for a moment; what could he do to make if easier for Yusei to express himself? 'Yeah... I got nothin'...' Kalin thought with a sigh. "I know this isn't easy," he spoke gently, "but I don't know what else to do."

"Yeah," Yusei sighed still sounding slightly frustrated. "I don't either."

* * *

><p>Yusei couldn't sleep that night. He was exhausted, but sleep continued to evade him. Sighing, he rolled onto his stomach. Why did this have to be so <em>difficult<em>? Why couldn't he just say everything that was on his mind?

He sighed again, glancing at the digital clock on the floor beside him: It was just after midnight. 'I really just need some _sleep_,' he thought. Seeking distraction, he picked up the iPod he'd fixed up off the floor from next to his bed. Turning back onto his back, he inserted the ear-buds and put his music on shuffle. After listening to the first song for a moment, he had an idea. Rolling out of bed, he exited his room and headed for Kalin's.

"Hey, Kalin?" he asked quietly. "I know it's late, but can we talk?"

Kalin sat up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "Sure," he yawned. "What's up?"

"Here," the raven-haired teen spoke, holding out his ear-buds. "I want you to listen to something."

Kalin looked a little puzzled, unsure of what his friend was getting at, but took the ear-buds. Yusei hit play on the song he had listened to only moments before. He watched nervously as his blue-haired friend bobbed his head silently to the rhythm of the music. When the song was over, Kalin removed the ear-buds and gazed over at his friend who had sat down on the hard-wood floor, his knees pulled up towards him.

"This is how you feel?" Kalin asked quietly, calmly.

Yusei refused to meet the other teen's gaze but nodded in response. "Yeah... Kinda, anyway..."

Kalin sighed, scratching the back of his head, unsure of how to respond. He was glad, though; his friend had found a way to communicate without having to say a single word. Now the older of the two just had to find a way to help.

"You... don't think... I'm just..." Yusei trailed off.

"I don't think what?"

"That... Ya know..." He shrugged. "You don't think that I'm... over-reacting?"

Kalin stared in surprise at the younger boy for a moment. Is that why he'd been so afraid to say anything? He shook his head. "No; I _definitely _don't think that. For one thing, I have no idea what happened to make you feel the way you do; for another, I know _you_. If you react to something, it's for good reason. Put two and two together, and I know that something horrible must have happened to drive you to edge like this. If you're in so much pain as to drive you to start cutting, then I would _never _call that _over-reacting_. No matter what the reason."

Yusei slowly nodded once in understanding. Kalin had told him once that he probably wouldn't understand, but to Yusei, it seemed like maybe the older boy _did _understand... to a point, anyway. At least, Yusei now knew, that his brother-figure wasn't judging his actions on face-value, as he'd feared might happen.

"Why would I think you were over-reacting?" Kalin asked, breaking into the younger boy's thoughts. It was honest question, but one that Kalin secretly hoped would get his friend to start talking.

Yusei shrugged. "I guess... I just thought you'd think it was... _overly extreme_, is all..."

Kalin sighed. "It is extreme, Yusei, but it's still a way of _coping_. Is it the best way to go? No. Does it work? Exceptionally well. For some people, there's just no other way that works. I've seen if before, and I see that in you, too. That's why I don't condemn it.

"I've also seen the mental pain it takes to want to feel something physically. For some, all it takes is a simple scratch; for others, the pain runs so much deeper so the cuts run deeper, too." Silence filled the room, making Kalin wonder if he should say something to try to get Yusei talking again. But he didn't need to. What he had already said was enough of a prompt for the younger teen.

"It wasn't always this bad, Kalin," Yusei sighed, still not wanting to make eye-contact. The blue-haired man didn't respond, waiting for his friend to continue on his own this time. After a moment, Yusei did. "It didn't even bleed the first time I cut, but the sting was enough to make me feel better. But as time went on, that sting became no longer enough. I started to have to press harder to get the same rush. Once I started bleeding, I knew there was no going back... I was in too far over my head to get out by myself and too afraid to ask for help, wondering what people would think if I told them. I guess I was afraid they'd react the same way Crow did: He meant well, but he was trying to help in a way that wasn't doing any good. I didn't need him to tell me to stop; I already wanted to - but didn't want to at the same time. Cutting was the only escape I had. After doing it for nearly a year and a half, I didn't really want to keep going, but I couldn't stand to lose my only release, either."

Kalin gave him a slightly startled look. "You've been cutting for a year and a half?"

"Yeah," Yusei spoke with a slight smile brought on from his friend's surprise. His smile quickly faded, however, as he continued. "I used to be pretty good at hiding it. You actually caught me a couple times, Kalin, but since it was just a scratch, I played the innocent and told you I didn't even realize it was there. And you believed me since, living in the Satellite, it's pretty easy to get scratched up. When I started cutting deeper, I got more careful about where I cut since I didn't want anyone to know. The day before Crow caught me, I got careless. Actually, to be honest, it wasn't just carelessness; I just didn't really care at all that day. I just wanted to feel something - _anything _- other than what was going through my head. At the moment I dug the blade in, I didn't care if anyone found out; but as always, after the fact I was scared to death of someone noticing.

"As for the day after, I was horrified that my secret was out. Knowing that Crow hadn't believed me - not that I'd really expected him to - coupled with the fact that he'd told you just added on the top of everything else. I felt completely overwhelmed and didn't know what else to do. And when you and Crow were still gone when Jack and I returned, I took it as the perfect opportunity since Jack obviously didn't know what was going on.

"Do you know what that's like, Kalin? To just want to feel anything at all? To be so desperate for relief that you would want to watch yourself bleed? To want to bleed just so you know you really are alive?"

Kalin shook his head and sighed. "I don't, no."

"Be glad for that," Yusei continued. "I wish I didn't know either." Silence hung thick in the air for a few moments; Kalin, wondering whether or not Yusei would say anything further. Just as the older of the two was thinking about posing a question, Yusei continued again on his own. "I did try to stop once before," he admitted to Kalin's surprise. "But obviously it didn't work. The longer I tried to avoid it, the more my emotions built up and the worse the urge to cut became until I couldn't take it anymore. That time wasn't the first I had bled, but it _was _the first time it bled hard enough to overflow the cut. And I couldn't believe how good is felt after almost a month of restraining myself." He paused again, starting to shake, as the silence engulfed them both once again.

After several minutes of silence, Kalin knew that his friend wasn't going to continue. He lowered himself to the floor to sit next to Yusei. As he placed a hand on the younger teen's shoulder, Yusei turned his head and met Kalin's gaze for the first time that night. "People I know who have stopped," he started gently, "say that the first few months are the most difficult - even if you have someone behind you 110 percent, holding you accountable. But if you make it through the fight of the first few months, if only gets easier to resist with time. But that just _proves _that you _can _beat this, Yusei; it's not an impossible feat. And I'll be right beside you every step of the way.

"But in order for me to be able to be there for you, you're gonna have to help me understand what you're going through. It's impossible for me to help you if I don't know what's going on."

Yusei nodded once. "I know. But it's not going to be easy." He turned his head away again with a sigh as he rested his chin on his knees, his arms wrapped around his legs.

Kalin gave slight smile, squeezing his friends shoulder gently. "No one ever said it would be."

"After all," he added, "out of the greatest of suffering emerges the strongest of souls."

* * *

><p><em>"Are you in over your head?<em>  
><em>Are you in water so deep you're drowning?<em>  
><em>Do you think you've been left<em>  
><em>And there is no one to feel your hurting?<em>  
><em>Well, everybody has been there<em>  
><em>And everybody's felt lost<em>  
><em>If you're in over your head<em>  
><em>Lift it up, lift it up<em>

_"Oh, listen to the sound of hope that's rising_  
><em>Up over your horizon<em>  
><em>Listen to the sound, listen to the sound<em>  
><em>And listen to the sound of a new beginning<em>  
><em>Oh, this is where the old is ending<em>  
><em>Listen to the sound, listen to the sound"<em>  
>~Building 429: Listen to the Sound<p>

* * *

><p>Author's Notes: So? How'd I do this time? Still as good as the last few chapters? ...I sure hope so...<p>

In case anyone wondered, Yusei's thoughts at the beginning that are in italics are all things his first guardian told him when he was young (except what Martha said of course!). Yes, her words stuck with him for a very long time and that was the source of his pain for the most part. When you're that young, you believe everything you're told. And you never forget.

I'll admit: I really enjoyed writing this part. For those who have stuck with this story this long, let me tell you why, though I'm sure a few of may have already guessed. I completely poured myself into writing this entire thing - though especially this part - for the simple reason that I, too, identify with Yusei. I didn't know how people would react, but I guess I really just wanted to finally write something like this because I never really told anyone anything in detail. Granted my situation wasn't the same as Yusei's - I didn't have abusive parents - but I did go through the same pain he felt. I wrote this with myself in mind. His thoughts were my thoughts at one point. His emotions, too, were mine at one point. Even the reactions of his friends were based on how my real-life friends reacted when they found out I cut myself.

So in case anyone wondered, that's why I can so accurately detail this story. So for those who have stuck with me this far, thank you for letting me tell my story through Yusei.

Feel free to PM me with any questions. I've already decided I'm not gonna hold anything back about this anymore.

As always, reviews are lovely^_^ And a huge thanks to the people who have already reviewed and those who will continue to do so^_^


	12. Chapter 12 No Giving Up

Author's Notes: Sadly, yes, this is the final chapter. I really had a hard time getting motivated to end this story. I even considered trying to continue it further. But then I thought anymore might just end up being overkill. However, a special thanks to an anonymous reviewer whom I know only as Darkyami1214 for the idea^_^ I may well write a companion story in the future based on your idea! (Mind you that won't be for quite some time... I have too many other stories going on right now! Two that I'm writing and one that was previously written that I'm just now starting to post...)

Also, a few people early on wondered how Akiza could guess what was going on or wondered if Kalin knew everything that had happened. This chapter ties up a few loose ends, including these two^_^

Anyway, you didn't come to read my rambling... So without further ado, here is the final chapter of Shattered soul. Enjoy^_^

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twelve - No Giving Up<strong>

_11:57pm. the night of Jack's story. _

Crow lie awake, hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling through the darkness. He couldn't sleep, and, in all honesty, he was worried about Yusei. After what had happened earlier... Well, he had cause to be. The more he thought about how Yusei had used to cut himself over the very things he'd let loose to them, the more Crow worried about his friend relapsing again from the sudden force of the memories. And this time Kalin wouldn't be here to stop him either.

His cell phone buzzed then, interrupting his thoughts with an incoming message. 'Who in the world is sending me a text message at midnight?' he thought as he reached for his phone. 'Oh... Akiza?' The bird duelist flipped open his cell to find her message: "I can't sleep thinking about what you said. Please tell me my assumption of Yusei being a cutter is wrong..."

Crow sighed, replying, "Wish I could, but I can't." As an after thought, he added, "How'd you guess, anyway?" before hitting the send button.

A moment later, a reply arrived in his inbox. "I wasn't certain, but I did notice pale white scares on his left arm once. Since all of you grew up in the Satellite, I just brushed it off at the time, thinking that he'd probably just been hurt at some point. ...He is okay now, right?"

Crow had to smile at Akiza's concern. But it troubled him; were Yusei's scares really still that noticeable? He didn't think so, but maybe he'd just grown accustomed to them being there too. "Yeah, he's fine," Crow texted back. "But are those scars really that noticeable?"

"Not so much," came the reply. "I've just always noticed things that most wouldn't... They're pretty faded, really. And I'm glad he's okay; I think I'll be able to sleep now knowing that. 'Night, Crow."

"'Night, Akiza." Crow hated lying to her; he wasn't sure at all if Yusei was okay right now; Kalin had told him once that, once a person starts cutting, most will struggle with it for the rest of their lives. And Crow knew that Yusei had struggled. It had taken his raven-haired friend over a year to stop hurting himself after he'd first gone to Kalin for help.

"Alright, that's it!" Crow mumbled to himself as he swung his bare feet to the cold, wooden floor of his room. "No more sitting here wondering!" He crept into the hallway, heading in the direction of his best friend's room. When he reached the door, he was surprised to see it standing slightly ajar. Gazing in through the gap, Crow could see Yusei standing by his window, watching the stars as they blinked in the heavens.

"You can come in, ya know."

Crow stiffened at the soft baritone voice directed at him, then slowly pushed open the door and stepped inside. "How'd ya know I was here?"

"I could see you out of the corner of my eye." Yusei turned his head away from the window, meeting Crow's gaze. "What are you still doing up?"

"I could ask you the same question."

"Fine then. What were you doing spying on me?"

Crow hesitated as he came further into the room and sat down in Yusei's desk chair. "I was worried. About you. Ya know... That you might..." He shrugged, his voice trailing off.

Yusei sighed. "That I might relapse again," he finished for his friend, turning his gaze back the stars outside his window. "That's understandable. But there's no need. I got everything sorted out with Kalin before he went off the deep end. I'm never going back to that, Crow; and that's a promise."

"I believe you; I really do. If I didn't, I never would have let you come up here by yourself. But..." Crow trailed off again.

"'But?'" Yusei prompted, raising an eyebrow as he returned his gaze to the orange-haired teen.

Crow sighed. "Kalin told me once that people still struggle after the fact - some for the rest of their lives."

Yusei looked back out the window again. "I'm not saying I don't still struggle with the thought. But I am saying that I refuse to give in." Once again, he turned and met his friend's gaze. "I don't see myself the way I used to, Crow. Do I still think about cutting sometimes? Yeah; I'll be the first to admit that I do. But whatever it is that brought that thought to mind doesn't urge me to do it nearly as strong anymore. Those thoughts don't have a hold on me anymore; they are just thoughts and nothing that warrants action. That part of my past is dead and gone, and it's not coming back." Yusei gave a small reassuring smile as he finished.

Crow couldn't help but smile back. He knew that what his friend had said was true. If Yusei was going to relapse again, he would have done it by now. He'd had plenty of reasons in the past after all: When Kalin went off the deep end or when Jack stole his runner and Stardust Dragon, for starters.

"Can I ask you a question, Yusei?"

The raven-haired teen gave a short chuckle. "You just did, but you can ask another."

Crow smiled wider at the cliched phrase. "Did you ever tell Kalin everything you told us?"

He shook his head. "Nope. Not in detail anyway. I did tell him I'd been abused both physically and mentally, but he never heard to what extent."

"Can I ask you another question?"

"Sure."

"Do you ever wish that none of that had ever happened? that you wouldn't have ever had a reason to cut in the first place?"

Yusei gave a slight smile. "In some ways, yeah, I do wish none of that had ever happened. But when I look back on it all, everything that had ever happened to me had only made me that much stronger. Am I glad that I had to go through it? No. I would have much rather have never had to experience the things that I did. But if I hadn't, I wouldn't be the same person, either."

Crow nodded once in understanding, silence falling over the two boys. If Yusei hadn't been through all of everything he'd experienced, the two of them might not be where they were. It was that quiet strength he'd acquired from his earliest years that had pulled him through the last few years of betrayal and loss. It was that same strength that had made it possible for him to have the guts to go after Jack. That same strength had pulled him through battle after battle in the war against the Dark Signers, as well.

Then Crow realized something that almost scared him half to death: Yusei had always been the one to hold the Signers together, not to mention he was the one to bring them all together in the first place. If those earliest years had been different, Yusei may not have acquired that quiet strength that had held them all together. If those earliest years had been different, the Signers couldn't have won the war. Yusei may not have gone after Jack, so he never would have met Leo and Luna, either. He also never would have participated in the Fortune Cup; that meant Akiza would have been bound by Sayer and never would have been able to fight on the side of the Signers. But even if Yusei have still managed to pull everyone together, would he have been able to hold them together through the war?

'Oh, man,' he thought. 'I guess everything really does happen for a reason...'

"It's late," Yusei spoke breaking into the silence. "We should both try to get some sleep."

"Yeah," Crow sighed as he stood. "I guess so. See ya in the morning. 'Night, bro."

"'Night, Crow."

* * *

><p><em>"So your scars fade away<em>  
><em>"You soaked up the pain<em>  
><em>"A better person 'cause you lived through those days<em>  
><em>"And now you know what it's like to prove<em>  
><em>"You can overcome anything that gets to you<em>  
><em>"Well it's alright<em>  
><em>"We're sayin' our goodbyes<em>  
><em>"To the past and everything that ain't right<em>  
><em>"We won't waste another day<em>  
><em>"With all these silly things in our way<br>... _

_"I know we have given_  
><em>"All that we can give<em>  
><em>"When there's nothing to lean on<em>  
><em>"Well, I remember this<em>  
><em>"All we make of this lifetime<em>  
><em>"Is always here within<em>  
><em>"And remembering that's why<em>  
><em>"We should never give in"<em>  
>~Crossfade: No Giving Up<p>

* * *

><p>Author's Notes: *Sigh* ...It's over... So how'd I do for this final part?<p>

Hm. Not much to say for once this time around.

Reviews still? It really does make my day when I see a new review^_^ (Oooo also let me know if you'd be interested in reading a companion story or two^_^)

Special thanks to those who have stuck with me to the very end^_^ I wish I could send you all cookies. Especially those of you who reviewed. You guys were - and still are, really - a great encouragement to me^_^


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